Monkey Whizz Synthetic Urine Review: Better Than Quick Fix?
In this rapid Monkey Whizz review, I’m going to tell you everything you need to know about this popular brand of synthetic urine.
Does Monkey Whizz work? It’s the classic question that I’m going to answer right here. I’ll tell you what it contains, most importantly whether Monkey Whizz contains creatine and other essential ingredients, or not.
I’ll also tell you about the product range, because there’s always some confusion about what Monkey Whizz is, and I would hate for you to buy the wrong product for your needs.
I’ll also give you full Monkey Whizz instructions, specifically for the Monkey Flask product, and the urine belt, as well as comparing it to the three other best synthetic urine products on the market.
Monkey Whizz Explained
Monkey Whizz is often used as a generic term for a range of products from a company called Serious Monkey Bizzness. There are actually four different products in the range they sell:
- Monkey Urine
- Monkey Flask
- Monkey Whizz
- Monkey Dong
As you can see, Monkey Whizz doesn’t refer to the synthetic urine at all, it’s one product in a range of four. At the most basic level, you get the Monkey Urine product, which costs less than $20. It’s basic powdered synthetic urine, with no heating system, nothing else at all. So it utterly useless for passing a drug test with.
Monkey Flask is the product that is comparable to other brands like Quick Fix. It’s ready-mixed, and you get a heatpad. That retails at around $39.
Monkey Whizz, which is often used as a generic term for the urine itself, is actually a specific product that contains the premixed urine, mini heat pads, and an incognito belt to hold the urine in. This belt can dispense the urine as well.
The Monkey Dong is as crazy as it sounds and is not something I would ever go near. It’s designed for observed drug tests, where someone will be watching you. It’s a synthetic penis, and I sure as hell wouldn’t take the risk of getting that out and attempting to use it with somebody watching (detox drinks are definitely the way to go if you face a supervised drug test at short notice).
Does Monkey Whizz Contain Creatine?
So putting aside the powdered version, we have three different Serious Monkey Bizzness products that all contain the same quality of premixed synthetic urine.
How good is that synthetic urine though? Answering the question around does Monkey Whizz work is far easier by telling you how it stacks up:
- Monkey Whizz urine contains creatine
- It also contains urea and uric acid
- It looks like human urine
- Monkey Whizz doesn’t smell or froth like human urine
- The synthetic urine has the correct specific gravity and pH range
- Monkey Whizz urine does not have other chemicals in it found in human urine
So as you can see, it’s a decent formula, but it’s not as close to mimicking human urine as some of the other brands out there, which I will tell you about the end of this Monkey Whizz review.
But it does contain the basics. If you’re going for a cheap, basic pre-employment drug test, then the formula should be complex enough to get through a basic check that the lab will do to see if it’s a real sample or not. The fact that thousands of people have passed a drug test using Monkey Whizz should tell you that this is the case.
Monkey Whizz Review: How To Use Monkey Flask
So now that you can see how Monkey Whizz is not the urine itself, but it’s one product in the range which is used as a generic term, let’s talk about the actual product that is most easily benchmarked against other products, namely the Monkey Flask.
Instructions for using Monkey Flask synthetic urine are pretty straightforward:
- The instructions state that you don’t even need to warm the product in advance. The heatpad can simply be attached to the side of the urine flask once it is activated. Within about 45 minutes it will raise the temperature to within the right temperature range to submit (between 90°F and 100°F). Human urine exits the body at around 97°F, but legally they have to allow a range above and below that to allow for variations in health, and the moments after submission during which the sample would cool before it’s tested. They also say that once the heatpad is activated, simply by placing it next to the skin, usually by placing it inside your underpants, it will raise the temperature above 90°F on its own even without the heatpad. But for me, I would also always recommend that you microwave the sample as well. My reasoning for this is that the heatpads can fail, or deliver variable heat. Not always, but you don’t want to run that risk. The number one reason why people fail when submitting a synthetic urine sample is not the quality of urine, it’s that it’s submitted too cold. So by heating the sample up by yourself, you are leaving less work the heatpad to do. That’s why I would always advocate that you have a microwave handy where possible.
- Then all you have to do is tuck the sample inside your underwear, maybe even inside the second pair of underwear worn over the 1st to keep it really secure, and then you go and submit the sample.
- My second top tip is to check the temperature just before you go into the testing facility. If it’s too cold, you’re going to need to heat it up. My little genius idea which not many people will tell you about is to take a flask of hot water with you. Simply by pouring a bit over the sample, you can raise the temperature by a few degrees in moments.
Using The Monkey Whizz Urine Belt
So now we’ve talked about using Monkey Flask, let’s talk about using Monkey Whizz itself. Monkey Whizz contains the same synthetic urine, very thin and small heatpads which you tuck inside the belt, plus a belt itself, that you to your body.
The idea is that you don’t really need to use an external heat source at all. Because the urine is spread out around the belt, it’s always very close to your skin. But you can then activate the two thin heatpads, and this helps to raise the temperature to within the correct range if needed.
Then when you submit your sample, you simply pull out the dispensing tap on the tube and fill the sample cup in the same way as you would naturally.
Some people say that this means you can use the Monkey Whizz incognito belt for an observed drug test. However, I would never advocate that, because if you are seen, then the dispensing tap is going to be pretty obvious.
But it is less bulky than the Monkey Flask product and easier to keep within human body temperature. That’s why it costs $20 more than Monkey Flask.
Does Monkey Whizz Work?
So the key question is: does Monkey Whizz work? Well, as long as you get the original stuff, and you don’t get some Monkey Whizz Amazon rip-off, then yes it will.
I mentioned Monkey Whizz from Amazon, but it could be eBay, anywhere like that. It could be out of date, or it could simply be completely fake. I would never suggest you buy any synthetic urine product from a general marketplace website.
But sure, if you get the real deal, then Monkey Whizz works.
Monkey Whizz Review Conclusion
So the conclusion of this Monkey Whizz review is that Monkey Whizz does work. It’s not the most advanced formula on the market though.
In fact, I would put it in fourth place behind my top three which I’m going to tell you about in a moment. But if you are on a budget, or nothing else is available, then for just $39, the Monkey Flask is definitely advanced enough to get you through a basic pre-employment drug test.
However, whichever Monkey Whizz product you use, you have to also understand that the heatpads can be variable, and the combination of the lack of quality in the urine, and the heatpad quality, do raise your chances slightly of failing a drug test through either submitting it at the wrong temperature or being caught out by more scrupulous validity tests.
Top 3 Synthetic Urine Products
So Monkey Whizz is number four on my list of top three synthetic urine products.
In third place is Quick Fix. It’s almost exactly the same as the Monkey Flask product. However, the quality of the synthetic urine for me is slightly better. It’s slightly more complex. It costs around the same price, and if I had a choice between the two, I would probably buy Quick Fix.
The second place is Sub Solution. It’s a synthetic urine powder. So it does need pre-mixing. However, it’s an incredibly advanced formula contains 14 chemicals found in human urine.
On top of that, Sub Solution doesn’t even use a heatpad. It uses heat activator powder, which you can add just outside the testing facility to get the sample at the right temperature. This removes all the worry about the heatpad failing and allows you to have complete control of the sample right up until you submit it. It’s expensive, one bottle of Sub Solution costs $80, that’s double of Monkey Whizz’s price.
But in the first place is Quick Luck. It’s basically the new and big brother product of Sub Solution, one bottle costs $100. The most notable difference is that it is premixed, and it contains heatpads as well as heat activator powder. It’s also the most updated formula, having been updated this year. So it’s not only the most complex formula, but you get the flexibility of heatpads and heat activator powder to give you granular control over the sample.